Drink with me…
One of the things that I’ve noticed for the longest time is how people over here like to have some company when it comes to eating. Whether it is in the hawker centres or in restaurants, there seems to be some sort of stigma when it comes to the issue of eating alone. Indeed, from a couple of people (who I shall not name) that I’ve spoken to, they all feel that it’s ’sad’ or somewhat uncomfortable eating alone, because they feel that the people around them may view them as unpopular and without any friends.
Now I’m quite sure that there have been various studies conducted on this particular social phenomenon, but I’ll just like to suggest a simple hypothesis that perhaps this has something to do with the Asian communal culture and how they view ‘togetherness’ and interdependence as a positive ideal. Compare this with some Western contexts where independence is socially preferred. Of course I’ve also read studies which actually showed that the West , in particular Americans are not as independent as we think, citing Church and family gatherings as some of the main communal activities that they participate in.
So for those of you who are reading this, how do you feel about eating alone, and about looking at someone eating/drinking alone?
ahhh…
my 2 cents: I am Asian-American, born and raised in LA, living in LA. I am single, and I eat alone quite often when I am out.
Socially, I guess it seems ’strange, unusual” but, I am quite used to it, and don’t really mind. I don’t think of it as ’sad, or without friends.’ maybe your friends feel a bit insecure in themselves, but I see it quite often, and think nothing of it.
now to drinking alone… that would be ’strange, and sad’ (just kiding!)
Thanks for your comment. There’s generally a greater stigma here about drinking alone as well. People end up being stereotyped in various degrees ranging from depressed and friendless, (for guys), or perhaps even waiting to be picked up (for some ladies, a very extreme judgement that I feel warrants no logic, but we have to bear in mind the various sexist ideologies that are dominant in all of us)
i don’t find it particularly convincing that Singaporeans very ‘Asian’. neither is it true that Western society is less dependent on social validation and hence more insular. we should have buried this whole tired Occident/Other, anglophilia (-phobia) ideas yonks ago. i will like to think of we have some identity besides the postcolonial one. but that’s a whole different egg.
i hate eating alone because i can’t do much to my food except brutalize the hell outta it whereas friends and families are far more responsive to my sulking and fishing for some form of consolation. the smaller tables are also usually positioned near the loo, kitchen or exit. if all i get when i’m pissed off and hungry is a table near a smelly washroom with a deviantly reticient steak, then don’t blame me for being the antisocial weirdo who grunts and stabs at his food.